Since I have been blogging, I have had a few people comment to me that I must be extremely organised/ busy/ thoughtful/ a role model parent.
I am fairly organised and I am quite busy. I like to think about things (and write down my thoughts). But I never want to give the impression that I am a perfect/ role model parent, or that I am a 'better' parent than anyone else. The fact is, I find parenting very, very hard work. Rewarding and lovely, yes, but HARD work! Some days are particularly hard...
Case in point - the day I bit my son. I can't really believe that I am blogging about this. I was so embarrassed and ashamed about it, that at first I didn't even want to tell my husband! Now, with a bit of distance from the incident, I am telling the world wide web... But, I decided to tell this story because I want to give a realistic picture of my life as a parent. I make BIG mistakes. I also want you to be encouraged that even in the big mistakes, ESPECIALLY in the big mistakes, God continues to reach out with his grace and forgiveness...
On this horrible day, the baby was screaming and fighting every sleep. My big girl was fighting against every instruction and suggestion I made. (Not excuses, just background information). Then, Mr. 2 started biting.
I'm not really sure if I would label Mr. 2 as a "biter". He has been through several phases of biting since about 9 months of age, but he always seems to get over it within a few days. I think the biting generally coincides with teething. As far as I know, he has never bitten anyone outside of our immediate family. When in biting mode, he does bite teddies and towels and blankets and things too.
On the day in question, Mr. 2 was biting, and biting, and biting some more. Each time he bit, I would pick him up, remind him that we don't bite and put him in his bedroom for 2 minutes of time-out. On about the 4th time, he bit Miss 3 and actually broke the skin on her shoulder. Back to his room for more time out - a little longer this time.
It was only about 2 minutes after coming back from that time out, that he bit again. I was getting pretty frustrated by this stage. The message was just not getting through. So, this time, as I was carrying Mr. 2 to his room, I took hold of his arm and bit it. I think I said something like "see... that hurts!"
{I know some people actually recommend this as a strategy to reduce biting. The idea (I think) is to help your child understand the pain they cause through biting. Some people report success with this strategy. I don't understand how this could be particularly effective however, particularly in young children. Children under the age of 3 or 4 have little ability to empathise with the pain of others, even if they know something causes pain}.
As soon as I bit Mr 2, I felt wretched. I know I only bit back out of my own anger and frustration. It was not part of a well-thought-through parenting strategy. Pretty immature really! Mr 2 cried (probably more with shock than anything). I cried too. It was a pretty low moment.
I am SO SO FAR from being a perfect parent. I often treat my kids how I don't want to. I act in ways that counteract my ideals. I provide less-than-ideal examples to my children. It feels pretty terrible.
I think and talk a lot about teaching and modelling God's grace to my kids. But, what a blessing to know that God's grace is for mummies (and daddies) too.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
And, "tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it... yet" (Anne of Green Gables)
