Remembering, defending, loving God's word

On Saturday, I attended the EQUIP conference for women at the Darling Harbour Convention Centre. Not only did I get an entire day with some friends from our old church, and the chance to hear some great Bible teaching, but I also got an entire day with only Miss Chilled (5 months) in tow. Miss Chatterbox and Mr Cheeky had a great day with their dad and their Nanny and Poppy.

For me, the conference was a great (much-needed) reminder to remember, defend and love the Bible.

To remember:

• Who God is: "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by His own glory and goodness" 2 Peter 1: 3
• What God has done:"He has given us His great and precious promises... cleansed from our past sins" 2 Peter 1: 4-9

To defend:

• The truth of the gospel (good news of what Jesus has done). We know it is true because of eyewitnesses ("We were eyewitnesses..." 2 Peter 1:16), prophets in Old Testament ("We have the word of the prophets now made more certain..." 2 Peter 1:19), it is from God ("men spoke from God" 2 Peter 1:21)
• Against false teaching ("There will be false teachers among you... even denying the sovereign Lord" 2 Peter 2:1). The Bible tells us that false teachers will be secretive (e.g. they can be nice and well-meaning, applying the "latest research", sometimes not even deliberately deceiving).They will also be popular, and will make the truth of the Bible unpopular. (Oprah Winfrey was given as an interesting example - she says that Jesus can't be the only way to God. She is a nice person, generous, well-meaning and incredibly popular. But what she says contradicts the Bible)

To love:

• The Bible (as in all of Psalm 119)
• What God says

Practically, this means:

• Having the Bible at the centre of my life. I think the Bible is important, but do my actions and priorities reflect this?
• Loving the Bible so much that nothing can stop me from reading it!
• Testing everything I hear (whether at church or on TV, in books etc) against what the Bible says (e.g. does someone (even a bishop) say Jesus didn't really rise from the dead? Clearly against what the Bible tells me)
• Reading the Bible for myself so I know it, rather than just trusting what a minister/ pastor/ Bible study leader says
• Keep looking at the Bible, rather than just "remembering" what I think it says (this is big for me, having been quite well-grounded in what the Bible says in my teenage and university years)
• Making the Bible/ God my "portion" - He/ it is all I need
• Standing up for the Bible when I hear things that conflict with what the Bible says
• Teaching the Bible to my children and teaching them to love the Bible

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.(Deuteronomy 6:6-9)

Anyone else at Equip? What did you learn in particular? What helps you to remember, defend and love God's Word?

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8 tips for "working" mums

My friend Lauren contacted me with some questions/ ideas for blog posts. By the way, I love it when that happens - always nice to have ideas (though often I do have plenty of ideas, just not enough time to sit down and write about them!). Anyway, if you have any ideas you would like to start a discussion on, feel free to email me: julie(at)theusefulbox(dot)com. 

Lauren has a baby who is about 13 or 14 months old. She is about to go back to work, for the first time as a "working mum" (even though I hate that term, it will have to do for the purpose of this post). Lauren asked for some tips about being a mum and working outside the home.

I know I only have limited experience in this area. I have been back in the workforce as a mum twice, both for very short periods of time (4-ish months and 6 months at a time). I worked very part-time (1 day a week the first time, then 2 days the second time).  I work in a female-dominated profession, hence more flexibility in terms of accommodating motherhood. I work for the government. There was no expectation that I work more than my 8 hours a day or take work home. I worked in the same suburb that I lived in. I was very blessed in terms of childcare arrangements (The first time, my daughter was exclusively cared for by my mother and mother(s) in law. The second time, my son was cared for by family, and my daughter had one day a week at preschool and one day a week with family). My husband is a school teacher. He had the flexibility to leave work early (just after 3pm) to collect Miss 3 from preschool... 

If other people have advice/ insights to share, having had different experiences of being a mother in the workplace, please feel free to comment below...

Here are the things I found helpful when I was juggling the home and the workplace:

1) Remembering home is still my priority

I don't think there is any problem with being a mum in the workforce. I do think it is a problem when "work"life becomes more important than "home" life. I've written before about my priorities as a Christian mum - God, husband, kids. Way, way, way behind those three priorities comes my work out of the home.

2) The importance of the night before...

I always found it pretty frustrating having to use a significant proportion of my evening (after the kids are in bed) in preparing for the next day. I feel blessed that I have only ever worked 2 days a week, so I only had to do this on 2 evenings of the week. It was necessary though, to ensure that getting out the door to work (and childcare drop-offs where relevant) happened on time. Here is what I organised the night before a work day:

• Pack bags for preschool/ childcare and re-stock nappy bag (I had a nappy bag inventory for when my kids were cared for by family members, listing exactly what was in the nappy bag and where to find it)
• Lunches for husband, me and preschool (+ either lunch or a list of suitable options for lunch for younger children being cared for by family)
• Put out clothes/ nappies etc to put on children in the morning
• Organised my clothes for the morning. (Matt chose his own clothes!)
• If younger kids were being cared for elsewhere (e.g. not our house), put pram, nappy bag, drink bottles, in the car ready to go in the morning
• Get meat out of freezer for dinner the next evening. Put in fridge to thaw.
• Sometimes, I prepared a meal for the slow cooker, so in the morning, it could just be switched on to cook.
• If not using slow cooker, get out ingredients for the following night's meal and have them ready to go on the bench. I think a psychological barrier is broken when you can see what you are doing for dinner as soon as you walk into the kitchen!
• I have also heard of people setting the table and getting out breakfast things. I never did this, but that might help someone too.
  

3) Cooking slowly - the slow cooker.

I think the hardest thing about being a mum in the workplace is coming home to do the dinner/ bath/ bed routine when all you want to do is throw yourself on the lounge and stay there all night. If your kids are anything like mine they CANNOT. WAIT. FOR. DINNER. (We usually eat at 5:30pm!)

Coming home to a slow-cooked meal, and knowing that all you have to do is serve the meal is the best feeling ever! It is really worth putting in the extra effort the night before (or in the morning if you have time).

4) Cooking quickly - the 30 minute meal

It is a good idea to have a couple of meals up your sleeve that you can have on the table in 30 minutes. Simple things like fried rice, frittata, spaghetti with cherry tomatoes, spinach and cheese and stir fry with rice or noodles generally go down well, and, assuming you have ingredients on hand, can be put together pretty quickly.

5) Leftovers for kids

Sometimes, I found my kids couldn't even wait 30 minutes for dinner after I got home from work. That is when it is a good idea to have a few child-sized portions of meals frozen and ready to go. Then you can be confident that the kids are well-fed. You might even be able to get the kids into bed and have a more relaxed meal with your husband later...

6) Give yourself a break! 

You are working hard. If you need to have Vegemite on toast, or take-away for dinner once in a while (or even once a week), it is not the end of the world. When I was working 2 days and heavily pregnant with #3, I actually planned "take-away" every Wednesday night (I worked Tues/ Wed). For a couple of months, we had slow cooker every Tuesday, and take-away every Wednesday. We survived!

7) Break up the housework. 

As I've mentioned before, I don't try to do all of my housework in one hit, whether I am at home full-time or working outside the home. 

If you are blessed enough to only work a couple of days a week (as I was), allocate those days as no housework days. It is enough on a work day to do the basics - preparing meals, baths, stories, prayers and bed. If you can make beds, do a general pick up and a load of washing, you are outdoing yourself!

8) Keep kids' routines consistent (or establish "work day" routines)

My kids are sticklers for routine. I don't think that is unusual for toddlers/ preschoolers. When I was working, we were able to maintain the same evening routine we had on non-work days. It just happened about 15-30 minutes later than non-work days. Keeping the consistency of dinner, bath, story, Bible, prayer and bed was important for our kids' feeling of security about me working, and also for our relationships. We were able to use the dinner and bed lead-up time to "re-connect" and talk about the day (though little kids are pretty vague on details and not too good at recounting sequences of events!).

Over to you. What advice would you give on juggling home and work?

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Money in my pocket

Over the weekend, Miss Chatterbox (just turned 3) first heard about pocket money. It started with an ice-cream truck passing by our house. (This is something we were unaccustomed to in our old neighbourhood).

Miss Chatterbox observed two young boys run over to the truck and return with coveted ice-creams in hand. Of course, Miss Chatterbox decided that she and her brother should have ice-creams. 

Declining her request, I said, mindlessly; "Maybe those boys used their pocket money."

"Do I have money in my pocket?"

"No. Pocket money is when mummies and daddies give big kids money. They save up their money to buy something they like". 

"Can I buy something I like?"

"When you have pocket money, you can't buy something straight away. You keep your money in a safe place until you have enough to buy what you like".

Miss Chatterbox seemed happy with this explanation and didn't actually ask to have pocket money. The whole exchange probably got me thinking more than her.

Miss Chatterbox, of course, has no concept of money, other than understanding that you give money to people at shops. Although she can count to 20, I'm pretty sure she has no concept of one number being larger or smaller than another. She cannot add or subtract. She would not understand how much money is required for various purchases.

But, does this mean she is not ready for pocket money? Does she have to understand the value of money before being taught how to use it? Or is she able to learn about value as we go along?

I have thought a little about pocket money/ teaching financial literacy to our kids in the past. Here is what I have thought:

• I like the idea of a pre-determined amount of pocket money, rather than giving kids money as they "need" it.
• We want to start early with teaching our kids to give a percentage of their money to God (to church or another ministry organisation)
• By the time our kids are teenagers, I want them to learn to use their pocket money (rather than extra money from our pockets) to cover any of their own entertainment expenses e.g. outings, excursions, eating out with friends, the dreaded mobile phone...
• We need to let our kids make their own decisions and their own mistakes with their pocket money (e.g. allow them to spend their money on a trashy toy that breaks easily). This will allow them to learn lessons from experience about wise and unwise uses of their money.
• We need to let our kids deal with the consequences of spending their money unwisely (e.g. having to miss out on an outing with friends if they have spent their money on something else, rather than bailing them out).
• We don't want to give pocket money specifically in exchange for household chores. We would like to teach that chores are just something you do when you are part of the family, not in exchange for money.

But all of these thoughts are really for much older children. I never thought I'd be thinking about pocket money so soon!

I'd love some advice from those with older children (or those who have just thought about it!)

Do you give pocket money?

What age did you start?

How much pocket money is appropriate for a preschooler (if any)?

How do your kids use their pocket money?

 

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Cooking with Aldi

I was gob-smacked when I saw this cookbook at Aldi the other day. About 2 weeks ago, I was telling my husband that I should start a segment on the blog for budget recipes using only Aldi ingredients.

Bronwyn Cameron has already done it! This cookbook contains over 150 recipes. The recipes are categorised as breakfast dishes, lunch, dinner, dessert or kid's recipes. All are made using exclusively Aldi products. Most of the recipes have the kind of ingredients that are always in your cupboard (in addition to the fresh ingredients). They range from very simple (e.g. peanut butter, banana and honey on rice cakes) to not quite as simple (salmon bake).

Bronwyn manages to feed her family on less than $200 per week, shopping only at Aldi. (We actually budget for only $150 per week, but then again, our kids are little. One has only just started on rice cereal, and the others eat about a third of an adult serving. I think sticking to budget would be much harder with teenage and pre-teen kids.)

I picked up the book for $9.99 in the centre aisle at our local Aldi. They are apparently available in Aldi supermarkets across the country. I think the book will be worth every cent. Once we have a complete kitchen, I will be able to confirm this. 

Speaking of complete kitchens, this is what happened in our kitchen today:

Have you seen the "Cooking with Aldi" book? Tried any recipes?

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When grace is better than justice

I am all about fairness. 

I hate seeing wrongs go un-righted. I hate seeing hard work go unrewarded. I hate it when lovely and humble people are downtrodden. I hate it when arrogant, mean and selfish people are rewarded with power, popularity and wealth.

As a parent, I hate to see my childrens' examples of kindness, love, selflessness go unnoticed and unrewarded. And I hate it when their examples of unkindness, violence, selfishness go uncorrected.

But, as much as I would like to, I can't see perfect justice and fairness in the world (in this world). And, as much as I would like to, I can't maintain perfect justice and fairness as a parent.

Sometimes it is better to be gracious than to be right.

Sometimes misbehaviour requires a cuddle rather than a time-out. Sometimes understanding is more important than correction. Sometimes my child requires empathy, rather than punishment.

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Miss 3 is struggling with our move. She is so, so sad. She has left behind a clear weekly structure of preschool, playgroup, Sunday school. She has changed homes, suburbs, bedrooms. She has no preschool to attend (until next year). We have not settled on a church, Sunday school, playgroup, Bible study. Our house is in disarray with kitchen and bathroom renovations. We haven't even been consistently eating meals in the same place (sometimes we have been eating at my in-laws' place).

Miss 3's behaviour has been worse than I've ever known it. I took her to library story-time on Friday. She had a tantrum when I asked her to share the pink scissors with the boy next to her. I had to carry her out of the library and straight to the car with her back arched, kicking and screaming. Tonight, Miss 3 had another screaming, kicking tantrum when Matt asked her to swap chairs with me at the dinner table. We are unaccustomed to such physical, violent and angry reactions from Miss 3.

My tendency to fair and just parenting tells me that this behaviour is unacceptable and needs correction. It is (unacceptable) and it does (need correction). 

But, gracious parenting isn't always fair and just.  It isn't always about the punishment fitting the crime. Does my little girl need a time-out or a hug? Does she need to hear that her behaviour is unacceptable or does she need to know that her behaviour is forgiven? Doesn't she need to hear that we know her sadness, her difficulty coping with the transitions? Doesn't she need to know that we understand her desire to control the little things (such as where she sits or the pink scissors), when the big things are so out of control for her?

For us right now, it is better to be gracious parents than "right" parents. 

Do you find tension between being a fair and just parent, and being a gracious parent? How does it look in the way you (aim to) treat your children?

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Our new house: a tour

We've had a very emotional week. Since the moving truck came last Friday, we've been madly unpacking and organising and having tradesmen in and out. We've been battling with poor telephone reception (so frustrating - not so easy leaving 3 kids inside while I run across the road to answer the phone!) and irritating phonecalls with telecommunications companies. The kids have been a bit unsettled, and I've been feeling a bit lost and teary...

But, on the exciting side... come and take a tour...

The place is in, ahem, original condition

Our new chairs feel very... white. Not exactly what I visualised. (Don't worry, they are bonded leather (fake leather), so are cheap and can be wiped down easily)

Looking through the kitchen to our dining room

Mr Cheeky goes exploring

Kitchen as we found it, the far wall is now missing

Laundry as we found it! The wall between kitchen and laundry is now gone.

The girls' room

LOVING the huge built-ins

Mr. Cheeky's room. We will get him out of the cot... eventually.

More built-in goodness.

Our room

Our retro bathroom. I quite like the pink and I love the floor tiles. Matt disagrees. The pink is going. Miss 3 doesn't know about that yet. She loves her pink bath.

The view from the back. We are having a deck built across the back from the laundry door to the end on the right. There will be a set of french doors onto the deck instead of the dining room window (on right hand side). I can't wait!

Backyard

So many parks around here. This one is opposite our house.

At the moment we are kitchen-less. So thankful for the slow cooker, and having my mother-in-law not far away. We've never done any sort of renovations before. It hasn't taken long for me to realise I don't like the whole renovating thing! I am looking forward to having more usable space when things are finished.

I'm missing my old suburb and friends and connections. I have a lot of respect now for friends who move a lot (e.g. minister's and pastor's wives). It is weird to feel so disconnected. I feel the loss over simple things like not knowing where the local health centre is for my kids, like not having a local doctor or mechanic. At the same time, we do know a few people over this way and they have been very welcoming, even cooking meals for us (thanks Megan!). And, we are really not that far from our old place. Visitors are welcome!

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Our big girl

Three years ago...

Ah, so clueless! I thought the worst bit was over!

This weekend...

A pink big girl's bike (well, pink-ish)

A "fairy" cake

A special outing with Grandad

Sisters

What happened to those 3 years? We have packed a lot in (2 more children for example), but those years have flown...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS 3!!!


(It seems my blog has a few issues at the moment which I am not tech-savvy enough to resolve. I apologise if anything looks funny or wrong at your end. I probably won't be blogging too much over the next 2 weeks or so as we finally complete our move and settle in to a new area. I'm hoping by the time I get back to blogging more consistently all the issues will be miraculously resolved!)

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Mummy's daily sanity savers

 

At play-group the other morning, a few mums and I were discussing those L-O-N-G days. You know, the days where you feel that you have exhausted all your resources for caring for and spending time with your children by 9am. 

My kids are early risers. We are always out of bed by 6:30am. There have been times when the kids and I have been fed, dressed, played outside, done craft and cooked together all by about 10am. (Don't you hate that sinking feeling when you look at the clock and realise how many more hours there are to fill?)

These days, I try to organise every day with a few "sanity savers" or down-times. Utilising these sanity savers,  I can usually get the most important jobs done and I find that even the L-O-N-G days can be manageable and enjoyable.

Our daily sanity savers:


1) Rest time/ sleep time

In our house, this happens straight after lunch EVERY day. My almost 3-year-old does not sleep everyday anymore (she probably has a sleep about 3 days per week), but she still goes to bed for 1.5 hours (more if she falls asleep). She can choose to look at books or play with her dolls and teddies rather than sleep, but she must stay in bed. Mr 21 months sleeps for 2 hours every afternoon. Most days I can get Miss 4.5 months to get her routine in line with the others too. Some days she does need a feed while the others are sleeping, but generally she will then play under her play-gym happily, and I can still have some down-time.

I use this time for blogging, having a nap or sometimes watching "The View"!

2) Room time

We do this every weekday morning and most weekends after breakfast. At the moment, as we are living with my mum and dad, my two eldest have a shared "room time". They stay in one room together and play for about 45 minutes (tends to be shorter on weekends). My son still needs a visual reminder of the boundary at this stage, so they have a child-proof gate across the door. When we move into our new house, we will return to individual room play time. Miss almost-3 will not need the gate, but I am assuming Mr. 21 months will still need to be "reminded" that it is room time, not "wander the house" time.

I use this time to finish breakfast clean-up, have a shower and dress (I'm not too fussy, I don't take ages to get ready), and do a brief quiet time (Bible reading). On weekends I usually hang around with my husband drinking coffee during this time and don't get anything accomplished. But hey, that's what weekends are for!

3) Outside play time

This can either be structured time (a walk together, me kicking the ball around or helping the kids ride their bikes) or unstructured (me simply getting a few things out to play with, then supervising without intervening). I find getting outside is a brilliant way to pass an hour or so and to let the kids expend some extra physical energy when it is all getting a bit too much.

I use the "unstructured" outdoor time to hang or bring in washing, sit outside with a cuppa, or, if I am really motivated, do a bit of weeding in the garden.

4) TV time

We have recently moved our TV time right to the end of the day. It used to be as soon as the kids woke up from afternoon sleeps, but it now works much better to have TV from 4:30pm - 5:30pm. I can finish off dinner and the kids are pretty tired by this stage. It also breaks up the "sanity savers" a little more, with room-time straight after breakfast, rest-time straight after lunch, then TV time before the craziness of the dinner/ bath/ bed routine.

5) Smart timing

Definitely a "sanity saver". Through much trial and error, I have discovered there are ideal times to do the more intensive activities with my kids. I have relegated cooking with kids, intensive craft activities (anything that requires significant assistance from me), and teaching and practicing new skills (e.g. hitting balls with cricket bats is the latest) to mid-mornings. This is a time when both the kids and I are fairly fresh, the most important chores are out of the way, and I can give my full attention (and patience) to the task at hand.

What helps you to survive the L-O-N-G days?

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Kids in the kitchen: Scones

Scones are something every cook should know how to make (so they say)... and something that has been sadly lacking from my own repertoire until now. I have tried to make scones twice, and failed miserably. For my third attempt, I thought I'd get some help from the kids!

When cooking with kids, I would say the general rule is to make something you are quite confident with yourself. I broke that rule and it worked fine... this time.

Here is the scone recipe I used:
(Makes a baker's dozen):

Ingredients: 3 cups self-raising flour, 1 tbsp caster sugar, about 80g butter, cubed and 1-1.25 cups milk + plain flour for dusting

Method: Sift flour and sugar into a bowl.

Rub in butter. Gradually stir in milk until dough forms. It is easier to use hands from then on. Avoid over-kneading.

Roll out the dough on a floured surface to about 2cm thick.

Cut into rounds. 

Place on greased tray. (Using baking paper is preferred, but I didn't have any this time). Dust tops with plain flour. 

 Cook in hot oven (210 degrees Celsius) for 20 minutes or until golden. Serve (immediately if possible) with jam and thick cream.

Yay! They worked.

Edited to add: 

Thanks to Alissa S, via the Facebook page... a recipe for cream scones. I haven't made them myself yet, but they come highly recommended! Maybe someone who has a kitchen at the moment could try them out and let me know how they go! :

Ingredients: 2 cups SR Flour, 1tbs sugar, pinch salt, 180ml milk, 1/2 cup cream

Method: Combine flour, sugar and salt in a bowl.
Add milk and cream.
Stir with a knife until dough comes together (don't over work it).
Turn out dough onto floured surface, and add a little flour to the top of the dough if too sticky to work with.
Roll out to 3 cm thick and cut out rounds. (I have also cheated and just scored the top with a knife in a cross pattern... Also works, but have to make sure they are cooked in the middle!)
Place on baking paper on baking tray.
Brush with a little milk.
Bake in 230 c oven for 10-12 mins.

Best eaten the day you make them.
Enjoy with lashings of whipped cream and jam!! :)

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