Wasting time on Facebook this evening, I noticed that Louisa Claire was discussing (and asking for) tips on coping with the bed-time routine...
I don't want to boast, but I (usually) love the bed-time routine. Mostly because:
- The kids will be asleep soon, and it is almost RELAX time
- We get special snuggles, chats, stories, Bible and prayer-time
Now, I admit, I am at a distinct advantage during the bed-time routine:
- My husband is almost always around helping
- My kids are all still very little and are all ready for bed by 7pm
- Now that the 2 bigger kids have almost completely dropped their afternoon sleeps (they still have 'rest' time for 1 hour), they crash pretty much straight away.
Nonetheless, I will share a few tips that help make our bed-time routines run more smoothly:
1) We have (finally, in my case) learned to 'let go' of sleep stress. We cannot make our children sleep. We can only provide the optimum environment for sleep (e.g. in their beds, with lights out, toys to snuggle). I used to get quite worked up about them not going to sleep, and start mentally projecting forward (e.g. "we have a busy day tomorrow... they are going to be over-tired and difficult..."). Often my projections were exaggerated anyway.
2) We start at the same time and follow the same pattern everyday. Dinner is always ready to go at 5:30pm. Family prayer and Bible time approx 6pm. Kids in bath by 6:10pm. Kids getting into PJs by 6:30pm. Kids' Bible, book(s) and prayers by 6:45pm. Special big girl/ big boy time (talk time, memory verses) by 7pm. (Note: we do not actually watch the clock during this routine, but this is generally how long each bit takes)
3) We allow for at least 15-30 minutes of "wind-down" by quiet talking, books, cuddles.
4) We try to give each child a special time one-to-one time in bed (usually no more than 5 minutes, but I think it still helps to reduce the "I want a drink/ toilet/ toy/ book" behaviour later on). I love how when Matt starts his time with Mr 2, Mr 2 grins and asks; "what did you do today?" (This used to be the first question Matt would ask during his one-to-one time, and Mr 2 caught on pretty quickly). I also love how Mr 2 reaches up so casually to play with my hair or my collar while I have one-to-one time with him. These are the kinds of moments that won't last forever.
5) We used to take away special big boy/ big girl time if the kids' mucked around during dinner/ bath/ getting dressed time. We avoid using this as a consequence now (though we will sometimes shorten the time). It is important to finish the night on a positive, calm note, even if the rest of the evening routine has been a disaster!
6) After we have left the room, we respond to one drink request. We take in a drink bottle and leave it within the kids' reach. If they ask again for a drink, we remind them to get the drink bottle and help themselves. (Miss 3 is pretty good with toileting, and Mr 2 still has night nappies - I realise some people couldn't do this for toileting reasons)
7) After we have left the room, we only allow one toilet trip. We remind Miss 3 that if she goes, she won't be able to go again until after we are in bed. (She has never woken up to go after we are in bed anyway...). Again, we can do this because we know Miss 3 has reliable overnight bladder control (and if she really needed to go, she would make a pretty big fuss about it!).
What are your best tips for a smooth bed-time?
