The screaming phase

She may look all cute and innocent, but don't let appearances deceive you. Miss 15 months is in the screaming phase. She knows what she wants. She usually can't get her message across with words. If you don't understand the pointing/ couple of words/ babble she uses, she will scream until you get the idea!

The screaming phase is not uncommon in a 9-18+ month old. This is usually the age when intentional communication starts (e.g. cries, sounds and actions are no longer just reflexive, but are used to convey an intentional message). But, this is also the age when a child often does not use many real words. 

The screaming phase is quite new to us. I do recall Mr 2 having a brief screaming phase. I don't recall Miss almost-4 ever having a screaming phase. Miss 15 months is taking the screaming phase to a whole new level. Miss 15 months is strong-willed and determined. (I know this is a good thing, really...). She needs to make herself heard above her big sister and big brother. And, she doesn't have the verbal communication skills that her older brother and sister had at the same age. She is frustrated. (Amazing how even siblings can be so delightfully different.)

I know that this phase will be short-lived, but in the meantime, we need to manage the screaming phase as best we can. So here are a few (Speech Pathology based) tips to help reduce frustration for all of us:

1) Recognise the screaming as an attempt at communication (albeit inappropriate communication!)

2) Acknowledge the communication attempt (e.g. "Do you want mummy?")

3) Redirect calmly (e.g. say "shh" or "quietly")

3) Try to interpret the screaming. Try following your child's eye gaze, point, gesture, previous experience (e.g. what usually happens at this time? What is s/he expecting now?) or general focus of attention. These may give clues as to the message your 'screamer' is trying to communicate.

4) Add language. This language may be verbal or non-verbal (e.g. a gesture or sign), or both. If your child doesn't use much language, try to add a single word only, accompanied by a sign or gesture. Some useful words to model are "more", "up", "down", "help", "ta" and names of meaningful objects/ people (e.g. family names, teddy, dummy, blanket)

5) If your child already uses some language or a sign that would help in this situation, you could say (something like). "Use your words...", then model/ prompt the appropriate word or gesture.

6) Repeat again, and again, and again!

Have you experienced (or are you experiencing) the screaming phase?

Promoting independence: Babies and food.

Sometimes, being a lazy mum pays off.

Yesterday I took Miss 1 to have a Griffiths Developmental Assessment. We have no concerns with her development. We were helping one of the paediatricians at Liverpool Hospital with training some new staff in administering the assessment (I found out about this through my work).

I don't actually know how she went on the assessment overall (since it was not really about her), but I'm assuming all pretty average/ normal. But there was one particular area in which Miss 1 was apparently impressive - self-feeding, eating and drinking.

My 3 kids are/ have been very good eaters. By this I don't mean that they always eat their vegetables, but I mean that they were having a full/ family diet by about 9 months of age (having started solids around 5-6 months).

A big part of my reasoning for getting Mr 2 and Miss 1 onto a full diet asap was laziness. I didn't enjoy cooking and pureeing extra meals. I didn't have a lot of time to sit down and spoon-feed them (particularly Miss 1). Of course I started solids with Farex, and pureed vegetables, but we quickly progressed to a mashed consistency (within a couple of weeks), a soft lumpy consistency (again a couple of weeks later) and all the time presented some finger foods (rusks, cooked vegetable sticks, broccoli florets etc). Since 8-9 months, Miss 1 has not been spoon-fed (unless there is a rare occasion when she is having yoghurt or cereal or similar and I want her to stay clean!). She feeds herself with a combination of her spoon, and, when that gets too hard, she gets in there with her fingers. Needless to say, she makes a big mess!

Self-feeding and eating a variety of food consistencies is beneficial for children's fine motor development, speech development (as the same muscles are used in chewing/ feeding and speech), independence and personal/ social development. I have often seen children in speech pathology who have poor articulation development, and delayed feeding development. Some children I have seen are still eating a 'soft' diet (primarily pureed foods, with soft fruits e.g. banana) after the age of 2, although the rest of their developmental skills are age appropriate (e.g. they do not have special needs which may necessitate a modified diet).

In the early stages, I never worried about 'how much' my babies ate. Until at least 9 months (some would say 12 months), babies still get their main nutrition through milk. Food is just a supplement. So, I presented my babies with a few different options, challenged their skills with trying different consistencies and let them lead the way in terms of how much they choose to eat. If you are giving them the same things you are cooking for the family (rather than a specially prepared meal), there is less frustration or push to get them to eat the whole thing.

Based on the advice of clinic nurses, and OTs, I have also given our babies lots of opportunities to try cup-drinking. From the time we started solids, I presented boiled (cooled) water in a sippy cup - not a bottle. For the first few months, they didn't drink much, but after being presented with a sippy cup 3-5 times a day for a few months, they get pretty competent with it.

The assessors administering the Griffiths Developmental assessment were impressed that at 13 months, Miss 1 could request (by pointing and vocalising) and then eat a milk arrowroot biscuit (presented whole), feed herself (for a few mouthfuls) with a spoon, and drink from a cup unaided (though with a lot of spillage!). I didn't realise that this was unusual (apart from the children I have seen in Speech Pathology as mentioned above).

If you are still at the baby stage (or will be again), here are some ideas that will assist your child's motor and speech development, as well as increase their independence (and decrease your workload!) in the area of self-feeding, eating and drinking:

• Follow the feeding guidelines of the clinic nurses. Start presenting solids between 4-6 months
• Move quickly through different food consistencies and provide lots of opportunities to try new things. Aim for a soft lumpy consistency to solids by 7 months (or 6 weeks after the initial presentation of solids), and a full diet (aside from maybe a steak!) by 9-12 months.
• Allow your baby to self-feed with finger foods from early on. Start with very soft cooked vegetables, or hard rusks, and progress from there.
• Try to ignore the mess. If your dining table is in a carpeted area, you may wish to put a plastic mat/ tablecloth under the table for the first year or so!
• From the time of introducing solids, present your baby with a sippy cup for water. Also give supervised opportunities for your child to drink from a normal cup

Disclaimer: 

• These are general guidelines for feeding. For babies with additional needs, please consult a paediatrician or Speech Pathologist for appropriate/ safe feeding guidelines. 
• Some babies are slower to 'take to' solid food. As mentioned above, try to remember that their nutritional needs are being met through milk up to as late as 12 months of age, and persevere with presenting a variety of appropriate food options (including finger foods). If your baby is older than 12 months and still not eating much solid food, you may need to consider decreasing milk intake. When my eldest child was a baby (3 years ago), clinic nurses were advising mothers to present milk then solids from 6-9 months, and solids before milk from 9 months+.

Have your babies been "good eaters"? Are you a lazy mum like me?

Toddler essentials

When you are/ were expecting a new baby (especially your first), you will/ have probably come across one of those "essentials" lists - the things the experts tell us we will need for our new baby. You know - cot, pram, nappy bag...

I have put together my "essential" list for living in a house full of little people (in my case 1 baby, 1 toddler and 1 preschooler). These are the things that have made my life much easier or more pleasant lately. They come highly recommended. 

1. Our coffee machine - not many things better than a real coffee when the kids are in bed, or straight after breakfast.

2. Highchairs that can be wiped down, and attached to regular chairs. Essential in a small house. I used to have a highchair covered in plastic. Though the material could be wiped down, there were just too many hidey holes for food, and too many seams to get grubby.

3. Reflux medication. Okay, don't use this unless your child actually needs it, and it has been prescribed by a paediatrician (just in case I really need to say that!) My 10 month old still needs this. Nice alternative to pain (for her) and listening to screaming (for us).

4.Wipe-down-able bibs. I don't know what I was thinking using cloth bibs - just something else to wash, and usually the mess makes it past the bib onto the shirt anyway. These are a much better alternative (+ they have a "food catcher" at the bottom).

5. Plastic plates. Our 10 month old has a tendency to end up with her plate in her lap or on the floor. Much better a plastic plate than a china one.

6. Face-washers and cloths. These don't have time to just sit in the cupboard. They are on a regular rotation.

7. Wipe-down-able lounges. Do you see a pattern emerging here?

-

8. Let's continue the theme... is there anything a baby wipe cannot clean?

 

9. Both Mr Cheeky and Miss Chilled (2 youngest) get eczema. Our bath is now a soap-free zone. This is a good alternative. Pinetarsol is even better, or using regular rolled oats in a laundry bag. (I haven't tried the oats yet, but a friend recommended this in cases of extreme flare-ups. They produce a foam when left under running water.)

10. Unfortunately we needed this recently. Highly recommended for head lice treatment. Check out www.thelicefairy.com.au for more head lice treatments/ preventative products.

11. A friend who reads here recently told me she doesn't own a dishwasher. Oh no. I seriously don't know what I would do without mine. I would have to re-organise my whole life! How many of you (dishwasher-less) are out there?

12. Washing machine - self explanatory. See face washers and cloths above! I run a load every night, and hang it each morning. It is really nice having our laundry cupboard right next to the kitchen too - easy to throw cloths etc striaght into the machine.

13. The library. Our local library has a fabulous kids' section. Even if we don't get to read the books much while we have them, an outing to the library is nice in itself.

Do you agree with these? What are your toddler essentials?

Early Words (and encouraging your baby to use them!)

As my littlest bub is becoming more interactive and communicative all the time, I've been reflecting  again on promoting communication in infants. Here is some "speechie" information for those of you with little ones...

Babies say their first words anywhere between 9-15 months of age (or sometimes later). Prior to this, babies use babble (repetitive sound play), which can sometimes be mistaken for real words. Although a first word does not have to be clearly produced, it is usually only classified as a real word if used consistently to reference a particular object, person or event. Early words are generally those which are commonly used and heard (e.g. mum, dad, baby, up) and phonetically simple (have fewer or more easily produced consonant sounds e.g. moo, baa, more).

Babies require repeated exposure to language and regular interactive play before they will begin to use words on their own. A few general tips for encouraging language in babies:

• Observe and follow baby's lead - pay attention to baby's focus of attention and comment on what baby is looking at
• Promote interaction - play anticipatory games such as "peek-a-boo", imitate baby's sounds and actions, follow baby's focus of attention and gradually introduce a new focus
• Reward gestures and sounds that are used for communication (e.g. pointing, waving, pulling parent)
• Show relationships between actions and words (e.g. baby reaches up to be picked up, parent says "up")
• Share books together regularly, pointing out and labelling pictures
• Share songs and nursery rhymes - babies love rhythm, rhyme and repetition!
• Label real-life objects using single words (body parts, toys, clothes, food)
• Label actions as baby is doing them (e.g. clap hands, stand up, sit down, kiss daddy)
• The use of simple sign language or gestures to accompany verbal language has been shown to increase both comprehension and language use in young children.

Some common early words (besides mummy/ daddy):

1) More

"More" is a useful early word for baby. Baby can use "more" to request food, drink, toys etc. Parents can easily model use of this word during meal-times, or turn-taking in play. In Australian signed English, "more" is communicated by placing a slightly curved palm (right hand) on your chest, and slowly moving the hand away from your chest.

2) Uh-oh

This was the first word used by both of my bigger kids. It is phonetically very easy for baby (no consonant sounds). There is also plenty of opportunity for parents to model the use of "uh-oh" when baby plays one of their favourite games - dropping toys and food from the high-chair!

 (My kids were particularly skilled at this game. By responding with "uh-oh", we had some lovely interactive play, and lots of giggles)

3) Up
Another useful and easy-to-model word for baby. Somewhere from 9-10 months, baby may begin to reach his/her arms up to be picked up. Parents can model use of "up" to accompany this action. Even better, model the word whenever you are getting baby off the floor, out of bed, out of a high-chair etc

4) Go

Encourage interaction and anticipation in play with baby by using "ready, set...go". This can be used with outdoor play (e.g. getting ready to go down a slide or be pushed on a swing, or run/ crawl to mummy), with ball play, blocks etc. I've given an example of using "ready, set...go" with my Miss Chatterbox. She was almost 9 months in this video. Notice the repetition. This becomes monotonous for an adult, but Miss 9 months is loving it.

5) Push
This could be used instead of "go" in the example above. It can also be used with cars/ trucks, balls, swings... It is a useful early verb for babies/ toddlers to know.

6) Bye
We all know how and when to model this one. Babies tend to use this one as an earlier word because it is (a) phonetically simple, (b) used so frequently, (c) accompanied by a gesture

7) Ball
An early noun - phonetically simple, very common, fun to model to baby in ball play. You can model lots of simple 2-word phrases - push ball, throw ball, kick ball, more ball, roll ball, my ball...

8) Dolly
 Again, both my big kids used this word earlier than I would have expected, though they did not say it clearly (in fact, Mr. 2 still says "doyyey"). Probably something to do with how much exposure they had to dolls, rather than being related to how easy the word is to say.

9) Ta
This is not actually a particularly useful word as an early word. It is designed to be used after getting a desired object or activity and doesn't really help baby to express a need/ want. However, it is easy to say and most parents tend to model it to their babies so it is usually used among the first words. You can model this to baby whenever handing over a desired toy, food item etc, or when baby hands something to you (another game they love to play around the 9 month mark!)

10) No
This is an early word you won't have to try very hard to teach! Particularly if your baby is a good crawler/ climber/ explorer, you will have plenty of opportunity to model this one, and baby will have plenty of opportunity to copy you!


The "early words" phase is so much fun. Use new words. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Praise attempts at communication. Enjoy interaction. Have fun!


What were/ are some of your baby's early words?

(I love to hear your opinions. Please click on the title of this blog post if you would like to view comments or add your own comment).

Quick tip: Keeping baby warm

(The feet of a "onesie" poking out from the outer pants)

My first two babies were winter babies. Keeping very little babies warm in winter is not too hard. They don't move around a whole lot, and they are often sleeping, so can be wrapped in cosy wraps and blankets.

Older babies are a little more of a challenge. I recall with my first daughter, when she was approaching 12 months, it was a continual challenge for me to keep her feet and tummy warm. She was always kicking socks and shoes off. She was always reaching and moving around with her middle section becoming "un-tucked" and exposed.

With my son, I got a little more savvy. I started putting tights under his pants on the coldest days. Inevitably, his socks would be kicked off, but the tights would mean his toes were always covered.

With Miss 7 months, I have a new strategy, enabling both her tummy AND toes to stay warm: the terry-towelling onesie! 

I have never been a huge fan of the terry-towelling onesie as an outer garment. My kids have always had millions of them, and have worn them as pyjamas in winter. At the moment, poor Miss 7 months lives in hers full-time. She gets a new onesie after her bath each evening. In the morning, her sleeping bag is removed and replaced (after a nappy change) with a set of clothes (pants and a top or even a dress). The onesie stays under the clothes, providing full-body coverage and warmth.

Why didn't I think of that 3 years ago?

How do you keep your babies warm over winter?

(I love to hear your opinions. Please click on the title of this blog post if you would like to view comments or add your own comment).

5 tips for busy babies (6-12 months)

 

I was inspired to write this post after reading a question on Facebook, from the first-time mum of a busy 8-month-old. I have heard/ witnessed other friends with similar dilemmas about keeping babies in this age group busy. I have also been there myself (and will be again in coming months).

It probably sounds ridiculous, but in some ways the time when I had just one infant baby at home was harder than having 3 little ones. As my two bigger kids have grown into toddler-hood, they have become better able to "entertain" themselves and each other. These days I find that I only need to set up a broad structure to the day (e.g. outside time, inside time, room time). Miss Chatterbox (3) and Mr Cheeky (almost 2) can often direct their own play in these areas when provided with a few toys. Or, probably more correctly, my 3 year old directs the play for both her and her brother - a situation we try to limit! Poor Miss Chilled (6 months) spends a lot of time watching the rest of us.

Having one infant (6-12 month old) at home, with you as the sole source of "entertainment" can be hard work. It is especially hard if you spend most of your days at home (which you tend to do more with this age group). Here are a few things I have done/ heard about/ learnt about managing a child this age, without too much destruction and too many incidents!

1) Provide physical boundaries

Letting a mobile child in this age group (either crawler or walker) "wander" around the house without direction or boundaries is going to make your life much harder. If you don't want to spend the day chasing your baby, and cleaning up a trail of destruction, you probably want to provide some boundaries or direction to play.

Remove valuable/ breakable/ dangerous items out of baby's reach. Close off rooms that baby doesn't need to access without supervision (e.g. bathroom and laundry in particular). Use child-proof locks on cupboards etc as required. 

You may consider using a play-pen for a short period of time (up to 45 minutes), or putting a gate across the entrance to a single room for play (again, limited time period only). I did both of these with our big kids. Starting the play-pen as part of our routine early on, meant that our kids were used to it. Although Mr Cheeky did go through a time of protesting a lot about the play-pen, he got over it pretty quickly, as long as we reassured him that we were still close by.

 

The high-chair is another physical boundary that is obviously used during meal and snack times, but can also be used when you are cooking dinner etc. Baby can be right in the kitchen, close to the action, either "helping" you or looking at books or puzzles. They are safer in the high-chair, and not in danger of being tripped over!

2) Have a routine

I love my (loose) routines. They are so helpful in structuring your day and reducing your own feeling of aimlessness. I think sometimes we feel that our babies are aimless, because we feel aimless!

Have a broad timetable for your week - break up each day with the meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner and 2 snacks), bath time and sleep times. Sketch in your out-of-home activities (play-group, library, groceries etc), then add broad categories (e.g. outside play, room play, lounge-room play, high-chair time, walk, messy play (outside or in bathroom or kitchen or something), reading time. Also brainstorm what you are doing in these times (e.g. baby playing on rug outside while mum hangs washing or mum playing with baby directly)

3) Try to alternate play alone time, play near mum time and play with mum time

Mums cannot play with their babies all day, everyday. We have other things to do. Babies also need to learn to play alone. This helps build their attention to play, enhances their own creativity and allows them to explore toys/ books in their own way.

 

I used to divide my babies' awake times fairly evenly into play alone time (in the play-pen, or in a certain area - baby couldn't necessarily see me all the time, though I had them in ear/ eye-shot), play near mum time (while I was doing housework, baby was occupied with toys or something else, but I was in and out of the play, and still interacting verbally with baby), and play with mum (direct interactive play, reading, singing). Following this system provided the perfect balance for me of getting things done, but also spending time with baby.

4) Consider "categories" of play and try to mix play up

I mentioned before about outside play, inside play etc. There are a few "categories" of play you might want to cover in the average week (not necessarily everyday).

(a) Singing, rhymes and fingerplays/ actions

(b) Active play - can be indoor or outdoors (but probably more outdoors as baby gets older/ stronger) - balls, swings, moving toys (ride-on toys), tunnels, slides etc

(c) Cognitive play - for "cause and effect" - blocks, stacking cups, ball tunnels, puzzles

(d) Messy play - sand play, water play (fill up the baby bath or a big tub)

 

(e) Language play - happens with any other types of play, books

(f) Physical play - touching, tickling, cuddling, wrestling (when a little bit older)

5) Use resources around you

The day goes much faster when you get out and about. Join a mother's group or play-group. Go to library story-time (most libraries have a baby read/ rhyme time). Go out for coffee with a friend. Go for a walk. Go grocery shopping and talk to baby about what you buy...

Any other ideas or experiences? How did you pass the time with your 6-12 month old?

Breastfeeding in public: taboo or terrific?

Recently, around the web, there has been some talk about breastfeeding in public. It may be something to do with some new legislation in Atlanta and in Australia. 

It seems we can't leave well enough alone on this issue. I really wonder why we still need to talk about it. I thought that in these "enlightened" times, it would go without saying that women are entitled to breastfeed in public if and when they see fit. I have been very surprised at the anti-breastfeeding-in-public sentiment that still exists  the wider community. Back in the days before I was blogging, I came across this article. I was pretty outraged.

Despite thinking that women have the right to breastfeed if, when and where they see fit, my own actions have changed somewhat over the lifespans of my 3 children. 

I breastfed my first baby (now 3) until she was 13 months old (though, from about 9 months she was only having morning and evening feeds - no daytime/ public feeds). Until 9 months, I regularly fed her in public - anywhere and everywhere - cafes, restaurants, parks, the library, church... I was part of the ABA (Australian Breastfeeding Association) and I was exercising my right to breastfeed in public. 

I followed a similar pattern with baby 2 (now 22 months). Breastfeeding in public was a little different with him mostly because  our outings were more focused around other "kid-friendly" places - playgroup, friend's houses etc, with my toddler in tow.  These days, while feeding my 5.5 month old, and with a 22 month old and 3 year old in tow, my outings are even more "kid-friendly".

I have never received overtly negative comments about breastfeeding in public.  I, like most nursing mothers, am quite discreet about feeding. I wear a breastfeeding singlet and a t-shirt-style top, so I can pull up one layer, keeping my stomach covered with the singlet underneath, then re-cover most of the breast once baby has latched on. I have however, had some subtle experiences that have made me re-think when and how I breastfeed in public.

On one occasion, my husband and I were at a cafe with our children. I was breastfeeding baby #3. A middle-aged male friend from church stopped by and eagerly bounded up to our table - until he saw that I was feeding. I don't think he was offended, but he clearly felt very awkward. He mumbled something about "coming back later" and left as quickly as he could. On other occasions, I have been on the receiving end of uncomfortable looks when I have been breastfeeding. 

I now tend to avoid feeding in restaurants and cafes (unless I can find a very private corner). I also avoid feeding if in the direct line of sight, or in a conversation with a man (apart from my husband, or my dad or something). Although I don't feel uncomfortable in these situations, and I know I have the right to feed, I want to avoid making others feel uncomfortable. I find there are generally ways around these situations (getting a take-away coffee and going to the park for example).

Some militant breast-feeders would see my actions as cowardly, or letting down the cause. I know I have the right to feed my baby wherever, whenever and in the presence of whoever I want. I know that breastfeeding is good for baby and I want to promote it (while acknowledging that it is not for everybody). I know that society should be encouraged to treat breastfeeding mothers as natural. I believe that society should be more concerned about the lack of modesty of many fashion trends, or the increasing prevalence of pornography in advertising than any non-sexual 'exposure' during breastfeeding.

But, sometimes I choose not to exercise my right to breastfeed in public for the sake of others. I  choose not to make others feel uncomfortable for the sake of making a political statement. I think breastfeeding in public is terrific. But I think caring for other people is more terrific.

What do you think about breastfeeding in public? What experiences have you had?

Babies and solids

Part of my job description (when I worked full-time anyway) is/ was to present to groups of new mothers about introduction of solid foods (and communication development in baby's first year).

For some time now (I think almost 10 years), the official guideline has been to delay introduction of solid foods (puree to start with) until after 6 months of age. This is endorsed by the Australian Breastfeeding Association and the National Health and Medical Research Council. Some nurses as recently as a few years ago, were still insisting that 4 months was the ideal time to begin introducing tastes/ solids to babies. It seems that maybe they were on to something...

My father-in-law (a GP) recently sent me a study from the British Medical Journal. This study argues that babies who are not introduced to certain solid foods until after six months, face "a higher risk of iron deficiency anaemia, a higher incidence of Coeliac disease and a higher incidence of food allergies".

The study noted that the introduction of solid foods should still be delayed until after 6 months in countries where access to safe weaning foods and clean drinking water was not readily available. In developed countries however, the researchers recommend a change in the guidelines for introduction of solids between 4-6 months.

This is timely for me as my youngest has recently (a few days ago) turned 4 months. I am not even close to considering solids for her yet, though I do recall starting with both her big brother and big sister around 5 months of age. (Big sister because she was only putting on the minimum recommended weight through breastfeeding alone, and big brother because he was the opposite and getting hungry!) My mum tells me that in her day, the doctor recommended commencing solids at either 10 weeks or 10 pounds(!) I'm not sure what that would mean for a baby born at 10 pounds or close to it!

What age did you/ will you start your babies on solids?

Routines with baby 0-3 months

Writing about routines seems appropriate when we are coming out of a week where our routine has been seriously interrupted. Last week, I saw what it is like (for me and my kids) on the other side... the no routines side. It was not pretty. 

I know there are many people who hear the word "routine" and shudder. I can honestly say that, having 3 children in 3 years, the one thing that has kept me sane (more than sane, actually loving life), apart from the grace of God, is following a flexible routine.

My baby routine is the most flexible of our routines. Miss Chilled's routine needs to fit around preschool drop off and pick up times, Bible study, play-group, daddy's work times... When Miss Chatterbox, and even Mr Cheeky were babies, there was not as much flexibility required. Having said that though, I have done pretty much the same thing with all three babies in the first 3 months. 

Week 1:  

Go with the flow

I am blessed that my husband has always had at least 2 weeks off work after the birth of each child. I have been in hospital for half of the first week each time. We have also been blessed with meals from our church family. All I need to focus on during that first week is following and observing what bub is doing.

Week 2: 

Start introducing a 3 hour routine, with a lot of flexibility. 

With my babies, this week has mostly been spent getting them to differentiate between night and day. During the day, I don't allow them to go longer than 3 hours between feeds (from the start of one feed to the start of the next). This sometimes involves waking a sleeping baby (Gasp! Horror!). At night, I let baby sleep until he/she wakes up.Although I am happy to wake baby for a feed, I am not happy to hold off feeds. If baby wakes earlier than 3 hours and is hungry, I feed.

Week 3 - 6:

Feed - wake - sleep

The most important part of the routine I follow is not watching the clock, but keeping things in a consistent order. I start following the feed-wake-sleep cycle from whenever baby becomes more alert and awake (which was from day one with Miss Chatterbox, day four-ish with Mr Cheeky and about week 3-4 with Miss Chilled).

Basically, baby has a full feed, then is awake for up to an hour, then goes to sleep. Doesn't that sound simple? Those with babies of course know, that usually one (or all) components of the cycle are a bit harder than that (e.g. baby is not feeding well, baby falls asleep during the feed, baby won't go to sleep, baby has bad wind pain or reflux...). But I found with my babies that knowing where I am up to in the cycle helps me figure out how I should try to help an unsettled baby (e.g. if they just fed, probably don't try feeding again straight away or if they just woke up from a two hour sleep they are probably not crying because they are tired...)

By the way, don't believe any book that tells you that following the feed-wake-sleep cycle will ensure your baby sleeps through the night by x weeks of age. As I mentioned, I did this with all 3 babies. Miss Chatterbox slept from after a 10pm feed - 6am from about 10 weeks, Miss Chilled has been doing the same thing from about 11 weeks. Mr Cheeky however did not sleep through the night until after 8 months of age. Sleeping through the night is not really the goal!

Week 6+ (warning: includes gratuitous pictures of my little one):

1) Mix up the wake time:

Floor time  - on back

Tummy time

A bouncer to watch the rest of the family in action

Play with mummy/ daddy/ siblings

Songs, stories

2) Start a consistent bedtime routine. 

For us this involves dinner, family Bible time, bath, story, kid's Bible, prayers (and later sharing time/ thank you God...with one parent). Miss Chilled usually has a feed just before our dinner, watches us have dinner then has a bath. Depending how tired she is after that she will go straight to bed or observe story, kid's Bible and prayer time.

3) Tell baby what is happening

e.g. "You're awake. Mummy is going to feed you now". "I'm putting you under the play-gym". "Let's go over on your tummy", "You are getting tired". "It's time for sleeping now". (No, baby won't understand you, but they are getting used to hearing your voice. It is a good signal/ warning that something is about to change.)

How do you feel? Do you love routines? Do they make you shudder? Or somewhere in between?

Baby wearing

I didn't really use slings with Miss Chatterbox or Mr Cheeky. I never found one that I could wear comfortably, and I was also worried that they would want to be worn ALL THE TIME if I got started. It is different with Miss Chilled though.

1) I was given this AWESOME sling. You can find it at www.sleepywrap.com. It is so comfortable. It doesn't have any buckles to dig in, baby is secure (I have sometimes felt like bub is going to fall out with other slings) and, although it may not look like it in this photo, baby is very comfortable in there. Thanks Mary and Lauren!

2) Miss Chilled has decided she doesn't like to sleep in the pram. As we are out most mornings, this was becoming very inconvenient. Miss Chilled would stay awake all morning, then get very cranky. By the time we were home for lunch, Miss Chilled took AGES to settle. She sleeps perfectly in the wrap.

3) I have my hands free. Good when you have 2 other toddlers to chase!

Disadvantages:

1) I have to take it all off to feed. You are supposed to be able to feed with it on, but I personally need more access!

2) It takes a bit of practice initially to get good at putting it on, but once you have done it a few times it is much easier. If I am in and out of the car though, (such as preschool drop off, popping to the shops then play group or something), I just leave it on and take Miss Chilled in and out as required. That way you don't need to fold it multiple times.

3) I prefer using it now that Miss Chilled has more head control. When she was really little I was still a bit worried about her having her face smushed into my bust!

Do you "baby-wear"? What do you think?

Quick tip: babies

Do any of you have "spewy" babies like me? (I mean babies who throw up after a feed, even an hour or more later)?

I thought "spewers" were normal until my newborn recently threw up on my best friend. She was not prepared for this because she tells me that her 7 month old son has never (or rarely) thrown up. My mum also informs me that neither my brother nor I "ever gave anything back" as babies.

Anyway, a quick tip for those who do have spewy babies:

Place a cloth nappy or towel under the area in the cot or bassinet where baby's head goes. When baby throws up, simply remove the towel and replace with a clean one.

This helps to avoid daily (or more) changes of sheets.This also helps avoid disturbing your bub by having to completely remove them from the bassinet/ cot. 

A word of warning though: The person who gave me this tip told me that her (now young adult) son packed an extra towel for his year 7 camp so he could put it on his pillow. He is permanently conditioned to the texture of a towel under his face while sleeping!

Lovely, lovely newborns

Before I had my first baby, I was not especially taken with newborns. I always thought they were a bit funny-looking and boring. I can't remember enjoying either of my other two as newborns as much as I am enjoying Miss Chilled at the moment either. She is just lovely.

 

Here are some lovely things I forgot about newborns:

• They are so squirmy - there is nothing cuter than watching a newborn yawn and stretch and wriggle...
• Their movements are so reflexive - from being 'startled' when they move their own hands around to launching themselves at your breast at feed time
• They are so absolutely dependent on you
• Everything in the world is brand new to them - my newborn looks at me, Matt, Miss Chatterbox and Mr Cheeky in absolute wonder
• They will snuggle and cuddle for as long as you want. Both of our toddlers have better things to do these days.
• They make the loveliest noises - coos and sighs and sneezes...
• They are just starting to smile, and interact. Every smile is cause for excitement.

Here are some not so lovely things I forgot:

• They can get quite smelly. It took me a couple of weeks to figure out it is from the build-up of sweat, dust etc in Miss Chilled's little clenched fists. Newborns can accumulate something like "belly-button fluff" in the creases in their hands. This must be removed semi-regularly to avoid smell.This has been more obvious with Miss Chilled compared to my others because (a) she doesn't get bathed everyday (typical third baby!) and (b) she is a summer baby.
• Matt calls Miss Chilled the "tomato sauce bottle". You get the idea! All of those bodily functions are so...loud!
• They don't sleep all night. No, actually I did remember this one. Miss Chilled is much better than her big brother was... so far. It is still tiring though.

Are we about to exit the newborn stage? Miss Chilled is 6 weeks old on Tuesday. Or is she still technically a newborn until 12 weeks? I can't remember definitions but I have no idea where those 6 weeks went. Another baby growing up too fast.