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I have recently been put on thyroid medication.
Apparently it is not uncommon for women to have an under active thyroid following pregnancy and breastfeeding (something to do with the hormones). It is therefore less surprising that I would have an under active thyroid following 4 years of continuous pregnancy and/or breastfeeding.
I was chatting with a friend, who had previously used this medication, about the rumours that thyroid medication would make me lose weight. (This would be a not-at-all-unpleasant side effect!) Her reply; "I didn't really lose any weight... but it will improve your fertility"
We both laughed. And my friend (who now has two children) said; "Isn't it great that we can laugh about that now?" Because, a little over 4 years ago, fertility was no laughing matter - for either of us.
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Six years ago (ish), I stopped using contraception. I expected to fall pregnant fairly quickly - as many of our friends had done.
I bought a box of pregnancy tests. I used them both in the first month - the first two single pink lines. The second, third and fourth months brought more of the same - single pink lines. Then I started to get a bit nervous.
I was proactive. I learnt all about tracking my cycle and taking temperatures. I printed out graphs from the Internet. I kept a thermometer and a pen on my bedside table. I marked a little x on a graph every morning. After a while I didn't really need to buy any more pregnancy tests. I knew that a dip in my temperature meant no pregnancy. Then the period.
After almost 12 months, we saw a fertility specialist. He sent me for the first round of blood tests. This confirmed what the temperatures had been telling me that month - I was pregnant! 6 weeks later, (at what I thought was 10 weeks pregnant), I wasn't pregnant anymore. A few smears of blood. Two invasive ultrasounds. No heartbeat. Lots of tears. Expensive surgery to get an empty womb.
Another 6 months passed - more temperatures, more dips, more periods, more single pink lines. More tears. Prayer.
We returned to the fertility specialist. After a couple of thousand dollars in medical bills and several hours of tests, we had no real answers. I was booked in for a laparoscopy and "diagnosed" with mild-moderate endometriosis, which was removed. We tried some acupuncture and went on a crazy diet. For about 6 weeks I was dairy free, gluten free, sugar free, soy free... hungry!
For many who suffer with infertility, their story ends here. There are some who will never have children at all. Or, who will have only one child when their desire was for more. Or, who need years and years of intervention. Some will continue to grieve, even as they almost-accept.
I am thankful that our story didn't end there. Sometime towards the end of the crazy six weeks in 2007, I was pregnant with Miss 3. When Miss 3 was 5 months old, I was pregnant with Mr 2. When Mr 2 was 7 months old, I was pregnant with Miss 8 months. --------------------------------------------------------------
The amazing blessing of hindsight. A little over 4 years ago, I wondered if I would have 1 child, let alone 3. Now when I think about the almost 2 years of heartache, I remember what a blessing it is to have my children. I can now laugh at the suggestion of my medication which will "improve my fertility".
Appearances are deceiving. To look at our family now, you would never suspect infertility. Infertility comes in all shapes and sizes.
(I love to hear your opinions. Please click on the title of this blog post if you would like to view comments or add your own comment).
